He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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