the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
