Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
