Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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