I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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