Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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