i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
