i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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