Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Randomize