is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
