the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize