so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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