I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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