it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
