i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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