Say something about gay babies.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
