some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize