dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
