we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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