Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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