I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
