All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
