"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
