i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
did you just send me my own nude
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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