I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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