you're like a bully in the Christmas story
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
