..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
