I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize