I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
