Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
