there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
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I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
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Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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