elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
