Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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