Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
