what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enjoy the penises
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize