State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
