I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
