I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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