That's when you crack a 10am beer
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.