Porn is love you can see.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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