Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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