We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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