i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
