before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
