I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home