Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......