I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.