Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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