I just cut my nipple shaving
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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