That's when you crack a 10am beer
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
