found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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