I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
