its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
