My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
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