My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
