Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
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I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
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I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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