Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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