I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
