Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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