I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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