my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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