Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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