my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
