I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Someone signed my nipple.
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